Some might say

Grumpy Old Landlord- Some might say

  As you may know we all live under the oppressive and strange regime of Herr Health and Safety. It is like Bacteria; it thrives and grows the stupider people get. Don’t you remember the old days when it was called ‘common sense?’ Back in the old days when you saw a great big deep hole you thought ‘Do I wanna step in it?’ No I bloody don’t!’

  A great example of how too far we have gone is the city of Amsterdam. In Amsterdam you can buy any number of illegal substances there are canals, trams, roads, bicycles, interesting ladies in shop windows, women on bicycles, small children on bicycles, the lot! Do you think there is a fence next to the canal? Not a chance! In England there would be a huge Berlin wall put around the canal, with signs saying ‘DO NOT SWIM’, ‘DANGER OF DROWNING’ However in Amsterdam they’d say, “Is your bike wet? Yes? Well you’re on the wrong bit mate!”

  The likelihood of you having an accident out and about is a lot less likely because don’t forget 100% of domestic accidents happen at home…..If you did have an accident at home and you have to go to Hospital it is not a nice experience is it? I should be made minister for health, I’d sort that mess out right away, the people who work in Hospitals work very hard under a lot of strain and pressure. Everything would be a lot better if everyone stopped moaning! People moan about the services before you get there, I hear quite a lot “I can’t believe the ambulance took half an hour to get here” my reply would be “well this is because you live half an hour from the Hospital, if you want a faster service then move nearer!”

  Last time I was in casualty I had to wait for hours, it’s a horrid experience I don’t expect Disneyland but you’re surrounded by ill people and there was this bloke who said “Cheer up mate, might never happen!” I turned to him and said “The sign over there that says accident and emergency is a bit of a give away, oh and the rather large chisel imbedded in my knee would suggest that it already has!”

  When I am in charge I have two very simple suggestions to sort out the mess that is the NHS. Firstly if it is your fault then I am afraid you cannot come in. Yes, it is tough but you will see those waiting lists drop down, even though time is a great healer. Secondly, there should be predetermined waiting lists. For example if you fell off a ladder and hurt your leg then you have but a mere 10 minute wait. If you were injured because someone fell off a ladder on to you because you walked under said ladder, then you have a 25 minute wait I’m afraid. However if you were say walking down the stairs naked, tripped and fell on to the vacuum cleaner nozzle then you have a very long wait my friend. Or you could just move to France.